Author speaks at conference
By Phyllis Moore
Published in News on January 10, 2016 1:45 AM
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News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Some of the more than 1,000 women gathered for the "Intentionally and Wonderfully Made" women's conference visit vendor booths during a break at The Bridge Church on Saturday.
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News-Argus/CASEY MOZINGO
Lysa TerKeurst, best-selling author, speaks to a room full of women at The Bridge Church on Saturday.
PRINCETON -- Best-selling Christian author Lysa TerKeurst approached her time on The Bridge Church stage Saturday much the way she does in her books -- like a conversation.
Although she quickly reassured the "note-takers" in the audience she wouldn't send them into panic mode.
"There's a title to this message and there are points," she said. "You're going to be happy girls."
Her focus as keynote speaker for the Intentionally and Wonderfully Made women's conference -- which quickly sold out months ago with a capacity crowd of 1,300 -- was to spark a deeper desire to pick up their Bibles and read God's word.
Or, put in women-speak -- "To get all fired up, craving it like chocolate," she said.
Mrs. TerKeurst, who lives near Charlotte, is president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a New York Times best-selling author of "The Best Yes," "Unglued," "Made to Crave" and 16 other books. She was recently awarded the Champions of Faith Author Award.
Her own story gained national attention when she and her husband adopted two teenage boys from a war-torn orphanage in Liberia.
The wife and mother of five is a popular conference speaker and has developed an app called "First 5," which allows users to set their alarm and choose a custom message to start their day.
Her next book is slated to be released in August.
Entitled "Uninvited," it delves into rejection. Between stage appearances Saturday, she spoke with the News-Argus about the importance of such a topic.
"I really believe if we can help people deal with their rejection, especially the rejections from their past then they'll handle the events of today in a much healthier way," she said. "Because if not, there's a quote in the book that says, 'Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst that's been said about me.'
"What happens, when we have something hard that happens to us today we will often travel back to one of those times of rejection and we pull the hurt from that event into the situation of this event and we compound or multiply the chaotic emotions that accompany it in a negative way. That rejection justifies this rejection and just compounds all the hurt."
Feeling it can ultimately heal it, she suggests, which in turn could allow the person to operate in a more emotionally healthy way moving forward. Or at least that is what has happened in her own life.
"It's amazing to me," she said. "When I started writing this project, I would have told you, I don't really think the rejections of my past really affect me that much.
"But as I've been studying it and really being in tune to it, I think rejection affects most of us way more than we even know or are aware of. And so we've got to be more aware if we're going to walk in victory."
The popular author admits she doesn't launch into a project by even writing at all. She first listens.
"I just really pay attention to the things that women are dealing with and when I see that I have an issue and it's common to a large group of women, then I know that's something worthy to write about," she said. "With rejection, I just know that this is the, I believe, it's one of the most difficult emotions to deal with. And so I just want to tackle it from a biblical standpoint and help people really live from the place of love and not live running from the rejection, the fear of the rejection.
"I think a lot of people live running constantly from this fear of rejection. They hate the feeling of rejection. The minute that we start to operate in the fear of rejection it's usually because there's a past rejection that's un-dealt with."
Social media plays a big part in promoting that, she says. From the time most of us rise up until bedtime, the prevalence of that stirs up the emotions even more.
"I think because everybody lives a much more public life now than we ever lived before, and so everyone is dealing with people having the ability to peek inside your life but even more scary, to peek inside your kids' lives every single day," she said. "And kids experience rejection all the time and they tend to be pretty vocal about it on social media, and because of social media, everybody has a platform."
For her target audience, she said she feels a responsibility to shed light on messages that will encourage.
"If I can help the women who read my book, then I know it will not only help them but I think they can help their whole family have a much healthier perspective of what it's like to grow up in a social media society," she said.
By its very nature, she said, social media lends itself to perpetuating "one big popularity contest."
"We carry around our popularity contest all the time," she said, holding up her phone. "Most of us didn't deal with it very well in middle school. But now it's like middle school keeps revisiting us."
Her anticipated book will likely resonate, she says, because it's also based on personal experience.
"I write about what I struggle with so I feel like God sort of puts me in an intensive counseling session with Him Himself, you know," she said with a laugh. "It's like, 'Lysa, let me deal with stuff that you're not even aware that is in your life.' So it's a very deeply personal healing time for me when I write."
Her role as author and conference speaker provides many opportunities to speak with women around the country, she said. It is one she takes very seriously, hoping to impart wisdom and encourage others like she has been encouraged.
"If I can stand up and say, hey, I really struggle with this, it is amazing how many women, No. 1, feel relieved that they're not alone but No. 2, feel like, well, if Lysa understands the depth of my hurt, then I can trust her advice to get me to a better place," she said. "I'm very intentional about making sure they know they're not alone and I understand exactly what this feels like and also can promise them that I understand the depth of their hurt but I also know the hope of God's word and how it really can help us."